If you need a laugh this cold January look no further

It is my great pleasure to bring to you, "Pissed man, fails to get beer". Note: incoordination when pissed is God's way of preventing you from drinking any more. Something that works brilliantly here. And I love Big Happy's comment that when the man falls on the floor he looks like he's practicing his Cossack dancing.

http://www.bighappyvideo.com/2009/10/23/man-buys-a-beer-fail/

Ice crash!

While we have had bad weather in the UK, this is something else!





And here is a wonderful bit of footage showing how people in the UK in 1963 just got bloody well on with it on the railways, despite conditions being far more extreme.

Me? I'm no blank Canvas.

I spotted this picture on my friend's blog over at Blog du jane Jane. It pretty much sums up what I have just done. I have decided to leave my job. I am in a way starting again. And I don't even know the extent to which this is true yet. I was going to call this blog post "I'm a blank canvas" but that wouldn't be true at all. Sometimes I get frightened by the idea of what I am turning my back on but then I remember that all the experiences and skills I have learnt in my last job are actually very important. I'm not a blank canvas at all. I am a canvas filled with beautiful rich colours of experiences. Strange colours, unusual shapes, I am a canvas that someone will look at and think "wow, that's just what I'm looking for and I didn't even know it".

Tim Walker is gorgeous

Here are some pictures by the talented whimsical Tim Walker. Every one could be a story in a weird upper class fairy tale.







Like them? Check out his website: http://www.timwalkerphotography.com/

Ways to become Welsh

OH! Look here boyo, being Welsh is the new cool. Nessa from Barry told me, alright? So for all you English people who have never stroked a sheep or worn a leek as a broach or a pointy hat listen up. Here is Advertising Girl's guide to becoming Welsh.

1) Take up Welsh. I don't mean proper Welsh, there's no need for that. I mean our particular unique and special take on English. This can be done in a number of ways. Firstly end every statement or fact with the word 'mind'. For example: "I don't like that Sian from the Kabab shop mind". See how it works? If you find that you've finished your sentence and cannot remember if you said mind at the end say it again just to be sure, "She's rough you know, she shagged Darren down by Cinders mind mind". This is perfectly acceptable. Another technique you can use is putting a pause in the middle of your words. For simplicity try this with key words only: "Oh mi god, that Dawn is ming--ing". This is an advanced technique so please practice first. Finally the biggest give away is if you can't say your double L's. in Wales a LL isn't an "l" at all it's a completely different letter. I tried to write the sound but it's pretty impossible so here's an article that might help:
http://gwybodiadur.tripod.com/ll.htm
Note that mispronunciation of this sound will promote such derision that you will be laughed at and then escorted back over the border. And you'll have paid your toll on the 7 bridge for nothing.

Some words that might prove helpful:
Cutch (a nice cuddle)
Uck y Fi (yuck)
Duw Duw ( my Aunty uses it when she might say deary me)
Lush (great/nice/handsome)
Meesh (a person, if combined with 'townie" then it's someone who has crap greesy hair and wears a tracksuit)
Chopsin (talking back to someone)
By there - never say "it's there" when in Wales! Is it there? Are you sure? Or is it "by there". There's no need to get stressed just be vague. See! Makes sense really!

2) Choose a Welsh name. Most people in Wales are called Jones. There are also a lot of Lewis's. But Jones is your best bet. If you are feeling that you want to be even more Welsh go for Llewellyn. Just make sure you can say it first. Some people in Welsh history are called Llewellyn Llewellyn. Well, when you've lived down a pit your whole life there isn't much room for fights of imagination.

3) Get a taste for Lavabread and cockles. You can make this easier for yourself by combining it with every ingredients of an English breakfast. That way you disguise the taste. After you finished say, "I love lavabread I do". That's the double wammy - you are eating and talking Welsh!

4) Pick a rugby team. When the rugby is on noone in Wales is far from the television screens (or stadium). And don't even think of getting a train that goes past Cardiff after a rugby match. It is horrendous. That is unless you are more pissed than anyone else. Be careful, I will not be held responsible if you get your stomach pumped.

5) Memorise every famous person's Welsh connections. Welsh people love nothing more than claiming famous people as their own. Heck, we've even tried to claim Barack Obama. If in doubt, claim everyone. It will be somewhere in their geneology because it is a well known and scientifically proven fact that Wales, not Africa, was the true cradle of civilization.

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/welsh-politics/welsh-politics-news/2008/07/05/genealogists-discover-a-red-dragon-breathing-fire-in-us-presidential-candidate-s-past-91466-21266440/

Ok. Congrats you are now Welsh. OH, What's occurring? You doubting me?

The most amazing dolls I've ever seen

Following a tip off from blog Yellowgoat I found these amazingly beautiful, dolls called "Enchanted Doll". They are posable and ball jointed but made of porcelain and polymer Clay. The girl who makes them is Marina Bychkova, a Russian born artist who trained in Canada. She says that her dolls are unique because she refuses to look at other dolls for inspiration. Instead she looks to the world of fairy tales. What interests her most is the 'implicit and often explicit violence that lies just beneath the surface of the magic'.

Find her website here: http://www.enchanteddoll.com

Here are a few of her costumed dolls. If only the makers of Barbie had such imagination. Just imagine what your childhood games would be like.






One of the dolls was recently auctioned off on ebay. Guess how much she made.....$40,000.00 US dollars!
http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330390340731#ht_12564wt_1202

Pongwiffy and poetry!

My creative partner and I are working on separate projects at the moment. But, by coincidence we are both writing poetry. My boss reckons we could become the poetry agency. Fine by me. I love doing cheap rhymes. I wonder if there's a "Head of rhyming" job out there somewhere for me. Anyways it got me thinking about the things I love about my job. Mostly the writing. I love weaving copy and making things flow or mimicking a tone of voice. And that got me thinking about a suggestion my father made to me at Christmas. Why don't you write a book?

If I wrote a book I don't think I'd write an adult's book (although I have a great idea for one). I think I'd have far more fun writing books for children. My favourite book when I was little was written by a wonderful writer called Kaye Umansky. It was about a witch called Pongwiffy. She is a witch of filthy habits with a hamster as a familiar and a coven full of other witches with unique characteristics. Read it. It's brilliant! And I have discovered that since I have grown up Kaye Umansky has written 6 other novels to follow. I am getting them on order.