2 Hours In Make-Up

If you were interested to see how my Mexican Day of the Dead costume and makeup turned out then here are the pictures. 

My sister (in the pink) and I (in red). 

My sister looks pretty and scary at the same time. 

 Me with my kitten Bailey. Before I ate him alive. MMMmmhahaha....he tasted like chicken.

And then I killed my sister and we all drank her blood. Happy days.

How was your Halloween? Did you dress up? Can you beat our effort? Do you have a scary cat picture? If so I wanna see!

Dat cat iz Craazy for ze Corolla

Thanks to my favourite cat-spotting planner James for sending me this funny advert for the new Toyota Corolla. The story is of a persian who has a bad paw and has to endure what is every normal cat's worst nightmare - a trip in a car to the vet. Cats hate this shit. My cat Maisie yowls for the entire journey - no matter if it takes an hour! But this cat is in a Toyota Corolla. He enjoys his ride in the car so much that he uses up all of his nine lives in orchestrating accidents to get more trips to the vet. What he likes about the car so much seems to be the dashboard - bit weird. But then each to their own fetish I say.

But seriously a Corolla? - dat cat gotta try a jag!



Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, Auckland, New Zealand
Client: Toyota New Zealand

Seven Psychopaths vs Seven Psychocats

This film looks funny



This film looks funnier



You know why cats are always the bad guys? Coz they're just smarter than dogs and they are deadly. My kitten Ziggy slashed my sister's hand this week and my other kitten Bailey slashed my thigh  a few weeks ago. Both bled a lot. Look they enjoyed it - that's why they are high-fiving!

Think they can get around me by being super cute!....oh ok then maybe I'll give them some more biscuits.

Rate Your Cat - some brutally honest truths about your pets

I've just stumbled upon a very funny website called Review Of My Cat. http://www.reviewofmycat.com
Some owners seem blown away by the sheer beauty of their cats. Others are less rosy-tinted.

Here are some choice excerpts:

Cat: Rascal
Sociability: C
Rascal is very bi-polar. One minute, she’ll be sitting peacefully behind the couch, and the next, she’ll jump on the back to attack my head, as if possessed by a demon (true story). I believe that while humans are not around to look at her, she relaxes in a chair, wearing a beret, and smoking one (of many) cigarettes. I’m convinced she’s French.

Cat: HRH Ping (of the Ping Dynasty)

Appearance: B

He has a fine, if unmemorable, gray tabby stripe

Henry Rollins

Usefulness: F

Henry does nothing. ever.  He’s good at mowing the lawn while i garden and then throwing it up as soon as we come back inside.

Cat: Gordon 
Sociability: B 
You don’t pick Gordon up for a cuddle, he comes to you when there’s a gap in his schedule.  Perhaps Sheila (his sister) acts as his secretary.  It would explain why she lazes by the fire all day, its probably acting as her desk and she’s making appointments for Gordon when she sees us sit down. 

And this is my favourite:

Cat: Eisenhower
Appearance: B
His black fur sets off his striking yellow eyes, and if you didn’t know better you’d think this is a regal feline. It’s not. This cat is a moron.

So I've decided to do one about my kitten Bailey. I chose Bailey not Ziggy because he is the most useless of the pair  and definitely the weirder sibling.

The 2012 London Kitten Olympics

Ziggy and Bailey have been settling in well and have decided to start their own London Olympics. As they are the only participants so far they are set to take gold and silver in most sports. I say most because Bailey isn't great at all the categories.

GO TEAM GB KITTENS!

Shoe diving.
Both kittens love and excel at this sport. It involves jumping face first into a shoe - preferably a boot so that a kitten can get their whole head inside. Points for paws and head and velocity at which it is done. This sport is anyone's for the taking.

Ziggy practices this tricky sport

High jumping.
This sport really only has one qualifier: Ziggy, who gained a personal best when she jumped the baby gate. Bailey has yet to compete as his back legs don't leave the floor by more than a millimetre.

Running.
Ziggy is in a secure position to win gold. With the ability to chase a cat toy for over half an hour without getting bored. Bailey is trailing far behind and will need to learn to chase things that actually move - rather than picking on knots in wood.

Wrestling.
Bailey will take gold due to has bigger size and weight which he uses to his full advantage against his sister. Biting is permitted and both cats are great at the "whole jaw in mouth" move.

Boxing.
Both kittens are adept at getting a sneaky paw to each other's heads - a high scoring zone in boxing. Bailey is the bookies favourite due to his willingness to start a fight and see it through.

Pot holing
This sport is anyone's for the taking. Both kittens have climbed inside our chimneys and Ziggy managed to climb behind the toilet, giving it a good dust on the way. This will be an interesting category to watch.

Ziggy practices getting into tight spaces for the pot holing.

Climbing.
Both kittens are great at this although this method is practiced more by Bailey - mainly due to the fact he refuses to do any jumping.

Bailey in the climbing heats

Gymnastics
There is one clear leader in this field - Ziggy who's mid air acrobatics are a sight to behold - she has mastered the single twist jump, the backflip and the roll poly. Bailey is more of a floor display boy and has yet to master a graceful landing - too many faults in his performances so far.

Bailey throws shapes in the floor display.

If you would like to enter your cat into the London 2012 Kitten Olympics please send me a picture of your kitten's feats of athletic ability.

Welcoming our 12 week old Kittens

We picked up two new members of our family on Sunday - our little Siberians. The breeder named them Monica and Christopher. I think at this moment we might call them Ziggy and Bailey. Ziggy was going to be the little boy but the girl is completely mental and much more like a Ziggy.

Getting two kittens has so far worked out really well. They had each other for comfort on the journey and when they were scared coming into a new house. Now they tear around the house fighting and pouncing on each other rather than going for our feet. They both play, or they both sleep. They do most things together. So far, two is no more work than one, and far more fun.

Monica/Ziggy is smaller and thinner than her brother and has endless enthusiasm for chasing toys.

Christopher/Bailey is quicker to purr, seems more affectionate and is a real explorer - we've nicknamed him Christopher Columbus.

He loves crawling under things, through things and has even been up the chimney. My sister pulled him out looking rather sooty.

What's funny about getting these kittens is so many people have felt the need to warn me that they will wreck my house. They seem to think that I have made the decision to get cats without thinking about it. They speak to me as if I am a naive idiot who expects kittens to be little dolls who do what I tell them to do. Nope. I've had a kitten before - I know the drill. I am aware that my furniture will get scratched. I am aware that they will puke on my carpet. I am ok with that. Really. These things are replaceable and I don't get half so much joy out of them. And to those who have assured me they will shit everywhere, sorry to disappoint you but they are using the litter tray.

It's hard work being so brilliant so here's Monica having another snooze. 

Squashed pets

Grey Group, Singapore did these cute ads for 3M Lint Rollers - aren't they clever and cute? You immediately get the benefit and they make you smile.


BUT who ever gets a brief like this???? I've never been asked to advertise something so random. It's always faster broadband, mobile phones, ebay - big shit. So did 3M Lint rollers really approach Grey or did Grey have a good idea and go to them? Ah well, whatever the case I just wish they were mine.

Kitten names

So these are my Siberian kittens. They are coming home to live with me on the 29th of July. 

This is my little girl. The breeder named her Monica. I originally wanted two boys - they grow bigger and they are reportedly more friendly. But actually Monica was such a charmer. She was the most happy to sit on my lap and play. Then she totally relaxed when I tickled her. So much so that she gave her first purrs (the Breeder said she hadn't purred yet) and stretched out between my knees, face planted down and fell asleep. She kept rolling about in her sleep like a baby and even had twitchy paws as if she was dreaming about chasing things. Super cute. I just had to pick her. 

This is Chrstopher. He is the boy I wanted. He is actually a blue tabby so a different colour to all the others. Christopher wasn't so bothered about meeting me, but he was a lot calmer than his other brother Cormack who mewed pitifully whenever I picked him up. I hope Christopher will grow into a big cuddly boy and get on well with little Monica. 

The problem is that I am getting used to referring to them as Monica and Christopher. Christopher isn't a  cat name to me and ideally I wanted to name them both myself. I am currently trying to pick new names for them. 

Here are some ideas so far:

MONICA

Lana (after Lana del rey)

Lyra (from Phillip Pullman's Dark materials trilogy)

Ariana

Arya (From game of Thrones)

CHRISTOPHER

Bailey 

Oscar

Ziggy (Stardust)

Eddie (after my Great Uncle)

Freddie

Theo

Arthur (of the round table)

Moses (getting all Biblical)

So far I think I'm gonna go for either

Lyra and Ziggy

or

Arya and Bailey

What do you think?

The Kittens Are Here!!!

Just a quick kitten update. Mummy cat has given birth to 5 brown tabby Siberians. Cuteness!

Kitten News

I am currently in the process of adopting two Siberian kittens. I say adopting not buying because this is a difficult and time consuming process - much like adopting a child. There are only about 50 breeders in the UK. One breeder I have been speaking to has 4 kittens and a waiting list of 16. And since these are hobby breeders - which is nice as they don't put too much pressure on their pets - there aren't often litters up for grabs. Not only that I have had to meet breeders personally to check my suitability, fill in questionnaires about my circumstances and keep in regular contact.

The breeder who I met at the recent pet show in Earls Court and who has promised me two of her kittens has been sending me weekly updates with pictures of mummy cat. I thought I'd share some with you all. Check out her fat kitten belly.

So why a Siberian right? I could just go down the cattery and save a kitten from homelessness. Yes I know. But I like the idea of choosing a temperament and a look and my Fiance wants to get kittens. With kittens from a rescue centre how they turn out as adults is a little up to chance. Plus I've fallen in love with the Siberian breed - they are gentle but fairly energetic, inquisitive, fluffy with gorgeous faces and HUGE. In fact they are three times the size of Enzo our office dog (he is a miniature jack russel). 

When the kittens come along I will be posting some pics - shouldn't be long!!

I'm buying a house, but more exciting than that...

Everyone...I am finally joining the adult world and making a commitment to bricks and mortar. the lucky lucky house will be a little victorian terrace near Greenwich. I will love it and paint it and convert the loft and clean it's skirting boards. I will remove the textured wallpaper from the ceiling and paint over the brightly pine varnished built in cupboards. i will restore the fireplaces and then fill them with crap like candles. oh house I will love you.

...But not as much as I will love the two kittens I will buy as soon as we have a spare £700. After a life of having to convince my parents to buy a pet (they finally got a gorgeous Ragdoll kitten called Maisie who now lives with my Dad) I can get my own at will. And just to celebrate, I'll get two. Because I can. They will keep each other company when I'm out, and keep me company when I'm in. They will snuggle up on my lap to watch X Factor and purrr loudly when I'm trying to sleep. They will annoy me by scratching my new sofa and throw up on my work. And I will love them.

The question is which breed shall I get?

A Ragdoll like Maisie?
A Maine Coon (apparently they aren't lap cats but they are beautiful)
A birman (is it just a not-as -good ragdoll?)
A british blue (my favourite option but now I'm thinking not fluffy enough)
A Norwegian Forest cat - apparently very clever and lively
Or something else?