5 years ago I was struggling down Goodge Street two A2 advertising portfolios in hand. It was dark cold and raining and it was a year to the day that my Mum had died. Head down I noticed a sign. "Free stress tests" it said. I stopped to adjust my portfolios, coat and handbag. "Excuse me. You look pretty stressed. Would you like a free stress test?" said a kindly concerned voice.
I was vulnerable. It looked like a health centre. In fact, I'm not really sure what it looked like. I was an emotional wreck. I didn't care. Besides he sounded like he would help me - sort me out - give me a cup of tea. Anyway, like Hansel and Gretel, I went inside.
They sat me down and gave me electrodes to hold connected to a dial. Then they asked me to think of people in my life. First I thought of my boyfriend. The needle on the dial twitched. "Looks like there's stress there?" observed the kindly man.
"Nope I said", everything is great.
"Think of someone else", suggested the helpful man. I thought of my Dad. The needle swung to the right.
"There's a lot of stress connected to that person", said the man. "Why?"
"He's on his own. I worry he's lonely. I want him to be ok but I know he's hurting", I said.
"Think of someone else", the man said. I thought of Mum. The needle swung to the very end of the dial.
"Wow, there must be a lot of tension in this relationship", said the man.
"She's dead. She died a year ago today" I said. And then I burst into tears. And that is how Scientologists persuaded me to buy their "bible" and why 5 years on I still get text messages from Charlie at the Dianetics centre inviting me to events and to come in and talk. 5 years!!! These people do not give up. And no. I never read the book anyway. Mum's biggest fear in life was that I would join a cult. Heaven knows why. All I had to do was go to a Carol service in my college and she'd be all a tremble. So Scientologists listen up. It ain't gonna happen. Give up. Save yourself the cost of a text.
3 comments:
Thank goodness for your mom's biggest fear! Any religion that feels they have to lure in people like that is certainly suspicious.
Maybe they are just being polite? Ha ha ha ha!
Yep totally Janene. I am a little spooked.
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