Rate Your Cat - some brutally honest truths about your pets

I've just stumbled upon a very funny website called Review Of My Cat. http://www.reviewofmycat.com
Some owners seem blown away by the sheer beauty of their cats. Others are less rosy-tinted.

Here are some choice excerpts:

Cat: Rascal
Sociability: C
Rascal is very bi-polar. One minute, she’ll be sitting peacefully behind the couch, and the next, she’ll jump on the back to attack my head, as if possessed by a demon (true story). I believe that while humans are not around to look at her, she relaxes in a chair, wearing a beret, and smoking one (of many) cigarettes. I’m convinced she’s French.

Cat: HRH Ping (of the Ping Dynasty)

Appearance: B

He has a fine, if unmemorable, gray tabby stripe

Henry Rollins

Usefulness: F

Henry does nothing. ever.  He’s good at mowing the lawn while i garden and then throwing it up as soon as we come back inside.

Cat: Gordon 
Sociability: B 
You don’t pick Gordon up for a cuddle, he comes to you when there’s a gap in his schedule.  Perhaps Sheila (his sister) acts as his secretary.  It would explain why she lazes by the fire all day, its probably acting as her desk and she’s making appointments for Gordon when she sees us sit down. 

And this is my favourite:

Cat: Eisenhower
Appearance: B
His black fur sets off his striking yellow eyes, and if you didn’t know better you’d think this is a regal feline. It’s not. This cat is a moron.

So I've decided to do one about my kitten Bailey. I chose Bailey not Ziggy because he is the most useless of the pair  and definitely the weirder sibling.

Black Cab Sessions- the most intimate gigs ever.

Today one of the organisers from Black Cab Sessions came to give a talk to my agency. If you haven't already heard of them and checked out their website then the idea is simple. Bands and musicians get in a black cab to give a stripped back extremely intimate gig that is filmed and put online. The organisers of these sessions try to pick interesting people with something new to give - whether they are very famous or unsigned and unknown. It has also meant they have turned down some pretty big names. In this process they have discovered many artists who have been seen on the platform and snapped up by record companies. This happened so often that Black Cab Sessions has now set up their own record company called BCS.

Watch this video to get a little taster:



The idea has also spawned a TV program which saw the 5 guys running Black Cab Sessions travel to New Orleans and New York to find musicians and talk to them about their areas and what makes them musically special.



Take a look at the website. It is full of gems - so far I have enjoyed sessions by I blame Coco, Richard Thompson, Death Cab for Cutie and Bonnie Price Billy. There really is something for everyone. 

He-Man does LMFAO

Oh my god I'm on a stupid music video binge! Gobbl gobble gooble!

Here's another gem. It's everybody's favourite musclebound helmet head He-Man singing LMFAO. And he's right. He is kinda sexy...didn't see that when I was 5. I was all about David Bowie as King Jared in the Labryinth.  David Bowie is still sexier methinks but check out He-Man's 16pack.



Oh and another think - who came up with the name He-Man? Like, seriously! There was also She-Ra wasn't there - now that's a little better - like 'she who roars' or something. But He-Man? "He's a man!" - no shit sherlock. Well, maybe they thought they better be clear as he had longish hair. Yeh maybe that's it. 

The Awesome PSY with Gangham Style.

Do you like needless explosions, funny horsey dance moves and slightly fat korean men? Right!!!! I'm with you! EVERYONE does. So you will, like me, enjoy this song and pop video by PSY (Park Jae-Sang), hailing from the popular K-pop music scene in South Korea.

His "Gangham" video on YouTube is the most viewed K-pop video in history with over 100 million views on YouTube. It has also ranked no.1 on the iTunes Music Video Charts. Take that justin Bieber! PSY is famous in South Korea for his satirical style of music and sense of humor. Apparently he is credited with breaking down the stereotype among K-pop music lovers that male singers have to be good-looking and be able to dance well. Well, personally I love his easy to copy dance moves and might bust them out in a west end club next week. 

Ooh and check out this remix with LMFAO, Dev, Offspring and Bloodhound Gang. 

Stevie baby back from the dead?

This might not be in the best possible taste I admit but imagine if Steve Jobs came back as a hologram a la Tupak to present the iPhone 5!? It could happen...it would be weird...it might be like this:



Well I am certainly getting an iPhone 5. I've got my sim only contract and I'm gonna get in line and snap one up. So exciting. Don't ask why.

The 2012 London Kitten Olympics

Ziggy and Bailey have been settling in well and have decided to start their own London Olympics. As they are the only participants so far they are set to take gold and silver in most sports. I say most because Bailey isn't great at all the categories.

GO TEAM GB KITTENS!

Shoe diving.
Both kittens love and excel at this sport. It involves jumping face first into a shoe - preferably a boot so that a kitten can get their whole head inside. Points for paws and head and velocity at which it is done. This sport is anyone's for the taking.

Ziggy practices this tricky sport

High jumping.
This sport really only has one qualifier: Ziggy, who gained a personal best when she jumped the baby gate. Bailey has yet to compete as his back legs don't leave the floor by more than a millimetre.

Running.
Ziggy is in a secure position to win gold. With the ability to chase a cat toy for over half an hour without getting bored. Bailey is trailing far behind and will need to learn to chase things that actually move - rather than picking on knots in wood.

Wrestling.
Bailey will take gold due to has bigger size and weight which he uses to his full advantage against his sister. Biting is permitted and both cats are great at the "whole jaw in mouth" move.

Boxing.
Both kittens are adept at getting a sneaky paw to each other's heads - a high scoring zone in boxing. Bailey is the bookies favourite due to his willingness to start a fight and see it through.

Pot holing
This sport is anyone's for the taking. Both kittens have climbed inside our chimneys and Ziggy managed to climb behind the toilet, giving it a good dust on the way. This will be an interesting category to watch.

Ziggy practices getting into tight spaces for the pot holing.

Climbing.
Both kittens are great at this although this method is practiced more by Bailey - mainly due to the fact he refuses to do any jumping.

Bailey in the climbing heats

Gymnastics
There is one clear leader in this field - Ziggy who's mid air acrobatics are a sight to behold - she has mastered the single twist jump, the backflip and the roll poly. Bailey is more of a floor display boy and has yet to master a graceful landing - too many faults in his performances so far.

Bailey throws shapes in the floor display.

If you would like to enter your cat into the London 2012 Kitten Olympics please send me a picture of your kitten's feats of athletic ability.

Welcoming our 12 week old Kittens

We picked up two new members of our family on Sunday - our little Siberians. The breeder named them Monica and Christopher. I think at this moment we might call them Ziggy and Bailey. Ziggy was going to be the little boy but the girl is completely mental and much more like a Ziggy.

Getting two kittens has so far worked out really well. They had each other for comfort on the journey and when they were scared coming into a new house. Now they tear around the house fighting and pouncing on each other rather than going for our feet. They both play, or they both sleep. They do most things together. So far, two is no more work than one, and far more fun.

Monica/Ziggy is smaller and thinner than her brother and has endless enthusiasm for chasing toys.

Christopher/Bailey is quicker to purr, seems more affectionate and is a real explorer - we've nicknamed him Christopher Columbus.

He loves crawling under things, through things and has even been up the chimney. My sister pulled him out looking rather sooty.

What's funny about getting these kittens is so many people have felt the need to warn me that they will wreck my house. They seem to think that I have made the decision to get cats without thinking about it. They speak to me as if I am a naive idiot who expects kittens to be little dolls who do what I tell them to do. Nope. I've had a kitten before - I know the drill. I am aware that my furniture will get scratched. I am aware that they will puke on my carpet. I am ok with that. Really. These things are replaceable and I don't get half so much joy out of them. And to those who have assured me they will shit everywhere, sorry to disappoint you but they are using the litter tray.

It's hard work being so brilliant so here's Monica having another snooze.