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Thursday, 16 July 2009

Mothers - love and resent.

Cooking chilli con carni last night I plugged in my digital radio for the first time in months (funny how moving house gets you out of habits). I caught the new music show on radio 1 and heard "Treat me like your mother" by The Dead Weather and loved it.
Here's a link in case you haven't heard it:

It got me thinking about Mothers. Mine died 3 years ago. She was my best friend. Ever since I have been in some way seeking to replace her. I have thought about it but never talked about it. Then my Aunty told me she reckons that is what my sister has been doing recently and I thought, of course she has. We've both turned to our Aunties. I even lived with my Aunty Julie for a while and, if I could, I'd live with the other one too.

Perhaps that's the reason I feel resentful of my boyfriend's mother. She's a very kind, nice lady but she isn't like my Mum. She doesn't look like my mother. She doesn't listen to cool old music. She doesn't have the same sense of humour. She, in every way, fails to replace my Mum. It's the disappointment. My funny, beautiful feisty mother is gone. And it's noone's fault. But sometimes it's hard not to take it out on the people you love.

5 comments:

Andhari said...
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Adgirl said...

Thanks Andhari. I think there will always be tension between the two most important women in a man's life. I am battling for top spot. Good luck with your battle.

Laura said...

One day I am sure you will become your own version of a wonderful mother: with beautiful skin, an unbeatable sense of humour and fabulous taste in music. Until then I doubt that anyone will be able to replace your mum however amazing they are. But at least you have family who try :)

Adgirl said...

Laura you are a sweetheart. Thanks.

Miss M. said...

I can relate to that feeling, my mom died 3 years ago too...life will never be the same.